Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
