But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
