Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
