So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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