I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
