He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
