I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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