You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
