PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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