Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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