I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
