I look better un-naked...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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