So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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