yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
