so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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