Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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