i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
