So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Say something about gay babies.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
