5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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