just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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