I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
