C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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