More tranny stories later!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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