i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
