please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
