so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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