i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
