Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
