where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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