So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
