Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize