booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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