I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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