You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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