Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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