I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize