if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
