So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You don't make any sense
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