if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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