Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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