Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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