nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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