does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
