he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize