i barfeds in our rink
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We have so much sex to catch up on
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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