Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
