your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed