I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he puts the penis in happiness.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
