The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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