were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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