She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
