nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
