Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize