he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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