if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
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Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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