no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
