It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she peed on how many people?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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