my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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