I saw his package. It spoke to me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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