It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
