maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My vagina is officially offended.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
