Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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