I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
