Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
