i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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