Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Text me some of your sweat
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
