I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
