since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
