youre lurking in front of me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
